JessVsGrief

Life has felt very slow lately.

Last week I received some news I had been waiting on, and while it wasn’t necessarily bad news, it came with a lot more waiting and uncertainty. Since then, my anxiety has been running high and I’ve felt emotionally drained.

The sourdough starter is somehow still alive and going strong, so I guess that’s a win.

Other than that, I’ve just been taking things one day at a time. Work, Biscotti, the cats, watering flowers, feeding a starter, and trying to take care of myself in between.

I’ve cried more these past few weeks than I have in a long time. I’ve been missing Rodney a lot. Maybe it’s the start of summer. Maybe it’s seeing another season arrive without him. Maybe it’s realizing that grief doesn’t really care how much time has passed.

People always say it gets easier, and in some ways it does. But every now and then it still shows up and knocks the wind out of you when you least expect it.

So for now, I’m just doing what I’ve done for the last two years: putting one foot in front of the other and hoping tomorrow feels a little lighter.