JessVsGrief

Saturday

Today I woke up with a mission.

A few weeks ago, I decided to sign up for First Fridays in Kansas City. It’s in the Crossroads District and it’s basically a space for artists to showcase and sell their work. For me, that’s earrings, bookmarks, keychains… but mostly earrings.

After losing my job, I knew I needed something. A way to make extra money, yes, but also something to pour myself into. Something that felt like me.

So I signed up.

And I got accepted.

My spot is next Friday, April 3rd.

But this isn’t just another event for me. It’s bittersweet in a way that’s hard to explain. The last First Friday I ever did was the last Friday Rodney was alive. I didn’t know it at the time, of course… but now that memory is tied to it forever.

So getting ready for this one feels like a full-circle moment. A hard one. But also maybe an important one.

Today, I set up my table and went through my inventory. I started laying everything out the way I think I want it for the event. I made a list of what I still need to do, what I need to make, and what I need to figure out before next week.

It felt good to have a plan. To be working toward something again.

It’s still emotional. It probably will be all the way through next Friday.

But today felt like movement.

Now I’m winding down for the night. Going to take a hot bath and just try to enjoy a quiet evening.